151-52 singing nigh nigh songs

We went to visit dad tonight with the kids in their jammies ready for bed with their bedtime books. It was pretty mental (as usual) however eventually we got 5 mins peace where we all read together The tiger who came to tea and sang the kids 'nighnigh' songs. Dad sang a few odd words of ally bally bee and geordie munro....but best of all he said Archie Doodle, of course I cried!

The kids got lots of cuddles and lots of tugging his lugs (their night time/sleepy comfort).
A lovely end to an otherwise difficult cabin fever rainy day - by 9am we had made models from tin foil of cars to smash with our monster trucks, painted not only on paper but their bodies, poured cheerios all over the kitchen floor, made a road for cars from a roll of brown paper, I can say this level of creativity and productivity is what comes from getting up at 5am!!! by 11am we had washed all paint off, made stove top popcorn (they love that popping) and were cuddled up watching Happy feet, come on it was our afternoon, No?

I managed to sneak in some sewing prep today for my next frock, I am doing another Cynthia rowley 1801, with some alterations - higher neckline shorter narrower sleeves and less bulk in the gathers of the skirt. fingers crossed.

Of course, I got a lovely smile kiss and cuddle from my lovely dad xxx

149-50 turning a corner...one of many I hope

I saw dad tonight and he seemed so much more like himself - He is engaging in conversation, I mean we don't know what he is saying but at least he is trying. He made a number of small words from scrabble tiles - corresponding with pictures and he got them correct. So small steps, but really the main thing is it seems that 'dad' is returning. He was so sweet tonight saying by to mum smiling and giving her a kiss, generally being goofy.

So great, it has been a tough week or so as progress has been very slow - On sunday I called my dads iphone as mum is using it, it went to answer machine and I heard his voice say 'alan'.....such a shock and such mixed emotions, my mum never said if she heard it or not. I really hope one day I will hear him say it again. I do know now however, that if i never hear him again is irrelevant, so long as he knows and understands us and us him it'll all be OK........

I have an interview in work on Friday to discuss my absence and what they can do to improve it, I know it is procedure and policy, but how can a meeting solve it? Surely it simply adds to the stress of an already almighty stressful situation.....I will remain open minded however and take it on the chin, nothing can compare to the shock and pain of watching my family crumble (melodrama is my middle name)
xxxxxx

beautiful peony rose, I took one for Kirsty and Ants and one for dad - one of my faves.

148 - icecream sundays

Dad was in good form tonight - his friends drove me along to see him and we stopped off at the chippy to get some ice cream (made by them) - so tasty. It was lovely all of us sitting in dads wee room eating ice cream. He seemed to enjoy it, I spoke with the nurses to see about him moving on food wise, he is still on 'mixed mashed'. He is going to be reassessed this week, hoping he will get a slice of toast and marmalade in the mornings.
For the last 3 mornings he has packed up his room, taken down all the photos from the wall and the cards and photos from the windowsill. My mum is upset about it thinking he is distressed, however I pointed out tonight that every morning in life for years he has got up and tidied up. My mum goes to bed and leaves her mug etc for dad to organise in the morning. He is simply doing his normal routine, this cracked us up - I think mum was relieved when we realised and remembered he is a creature of habit.

the dress made from this pattern i shortened sleeves and omitted the zip(too difficult).

146-7 an afternoon kickaboot

Pug and I took the kids to visit dad this afternoon. We all went outside and played - the kids, mum and I played hide n seek, we all kicked the ball aboot, Archie and Sadie ran around in the bushes and Dad watched it all - smiling and belly laughing at the general summer madness.
 The kids wanted to climb trees so on the way back to the ward Pug found a  suitable tree,

When we got back into dads room, the kids did their usual and got into bed with him, lots of cuddles and cosying in with granda - I snuck a wee lay down with dad too.

Why after all this beautiful moments do I still leave with a heavy heart and tears streaming down my face? I swear my dad is happy, so what should it matter that he isn't himself anymore? The kids seem to have adapted pretty well - sadly I haven't. I still shake my head in disbelief regularly and I still hear my mums voice saying 'your dads had a stroke' more often than I care to mention.

As for sewing solace, I have created a new blouse this week

And a beautiful vintage bus journey frock - photos yet to come......tbh too afraid to photo it, I love it so much if I see a crappy photo it might put me off!

144-45 geez peace!

mum and dad enjoying a sunny stroll yesterday

Dad is doing well, I think he has a much longer concentration span and seems to engage more. Thank goodness he still has his sense of humour - he spends most of his time laughing and absolutely is taking the piss. I was worried that he would have a change in personality and I suppose in many ways he has in that he can't be arsed doing anything - he was never dynamic, but he did do stuff. Not now, now he rolls his eyes, says god and sighs if you ask him to do anything. It is funny though to watch him, he can communicate so much just by his eyes and face, he turns his top left lip up in disgust regularly. He seems to permanently want everyone to leave him alone in his wee fog - geez peace is what his face conveys. He does however still seem amused by things and isn't bad tempered, that was my worry, that not only would he struggle but that he would also be a moody grumpy old git, phew lucky in some ways I suppose.

Tonight he refused to walk me to the door as he was already in his jammies - huge move towards social awareness, a few weeks ago he would have wandered aboot in his boxers given the chance.

Love dad so much, so lovely to get a hug the night and to see him giving my mum a hug and a kiss.
xxx

143 - 1,2,3......

I visited dad this eve, I went for a run whilst there. The weather was glorious, I listened to Eddi Reader (it reminds me of when we went to see her together) i was such a beautiful eve - so sad I couldn't share it with my dad.

When I got back, we had some quiet time then we tried some exercises. Dad was soooo pissed off attempting to use his right arm - he said 1 2 3 whilst counting with his fingers as if he was saying I've had to do this how many times today.
He also muttered God when the one show came on, never been a fan!

He is definitely making progress, however it is teeny tiny steps - Oh he decided to shave tonight, rather than being forced.

142 -no news is good news

So, I guess dad is just getting into a wee rhythm. He now goes for lunch and dinner in the dining room - major progress. He also has his schedule of therapies, so has a pretty busy day mon-fri. Today was the 1st time he actually focused and wanted to do well in his SALT, a serious move for the better.
Hope he keeps up the focus, it will help - although is exhausts him, it is good to see him make an effort and take an interest.

Apparently, he was really animated and laughing loads when Bill came to see him this afternoon........good to hear.

Missing both mum and dad right now. Looking forward to some lunch with mum and kids at mum and dads house the morn.
XXX