Our Alfie moto, Don't. cry because its over, smile because it happened.

Our Alfie moto, Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.Dr Seuss

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Harsh - ouch!!!!

So, 1st day back and 1st lesson, 1st child I spoke to ......
Mrs Williams 'welcome to rmps everyone, hope all well and happy. Lets just go round saying our names so I can write down where you are all sitting. Let's start with you - points to small boy with lovely curly brown hair.
Small boy 'Alfie'...........
Mrs Williams mumbles 'oh, eh, that's a lovely name'.
Lovely wee Alfie with brown curly hair looks at me like I'm off my head!

Isn't is shitey enough that I had to go back to work and leave my babies, that my 'Alfie' stage of life is passing by. It was all i could do not to say, oh I had a wee boy called Alfie who died - I didn't want to pass it by, however I did, of course - poor child doesn't need to know that. He is the 1st child I've come into contact with, I've never met another Alfie, nor heard the name said - not in relation to my Alfie. It's gonna be tough saying it every week in class. I told the ladies in the staffroom and had a wee tear, I think they thought I was nuts.....Sands mums will get the significance of it I'm sure.

Other than that, it was cool. Kids were great, I'm shattered - but I remember now why I love teaching.
I also looked at the kids from a mums perspective for the 1st time. I had a rather odd, awkward wee man in one class, I felt my heart twinge as I saw him, thinking his mum must be wringing her hands at home worrying about him on his 1st day in the big school. Hopefully my new found compassion for the kids will help my teaching.....


  1. I bet Alfie was shining down on you in that moment and knew how big your heart had swelled when you heard his name being said. Maybe that was meant,to break down your barriers on your first day. To sting you right away so that maybe the little things wouldn't seem so raw after overcoming that initial sting and braving it out. Well done for carrying on and relating it to Alfie in your own way. I am sure the ladies in the staff room did not think you were crazy but looked at you in awe for actually being strong enough to come back to work and stand up in front of your pupils and carry out a lesson after hearing your beautiful angels name without breaking down. your a strong person and an amazing teacher :) huge hugs xxx

  2. your such an inspiration, to all us other mums out there who have lost, my heart is in my mouth, my tears are flowing, Alfie is with you always and I agree with Kelly, think it was meant to break down your barrier as well on your first day, to sting you right away, Alfie is very proud of his Mummy, for sure, love and kisses xxxxx

  3. Thanks so much ladies, its lovely to hear such positive feedback, shit I'm even sounding like a bloody teacher already.

    Your cheerleading me on really seriously helps