Saturday, 18 June 2011
Fife sands was nominated to be sainsbury's local charity by someone who has never experienced child loss directly. This in itself was a great honor, however we also got down to the last 3 - I had to go into the store and talk to the colleague council about our work. For some reason when I told them a very very brief outline of or story I cried....when I said 2hrs later they came back and he was dead' normally I never cry at that point. Anyhow we never won - 5 points too short. However they are giving us bag pack day and a fun day.......I think I might ask them to put u a banner around the national AGM also. After the talk I went with Mum to the cemetry - I cried again most unlike me! I think Im just a little burnt out - feeding Sadie for almost a year and never having more than 3 hrs sleep is taking its toll. I have a wee infection in my nose also - all contributing to a very tired and emotional mummy - Oh yes also dealing with staffing issues at work. I am craving some clare time not too sleep, to be - read or knit or sew or listen to the radio....... Feels shitty to complain however I am human and although I know the pain of being without a much wanted child I can still be me right? I can still want time for myself?