Our Alfie moto, Don't. cry because its over, smile because it happened.

Our Alfie moto, Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.Dr Seuss

Sunday, 2 January 2011

a new year.....

My 1st year in 4 that i will not be pregnant!!!

I approach this with very mixed emotions, relief! no worry, pain or distress - no dragging my big body to the hospital every week for our CTG and consultant appointment. I do however feel sad that although being pregnant for me is a high anxiety time, i will never enjoy the other side......the 1st flutterings of the new life, the excitement about the life to come, the cautious and precious way i treat myself as a carrier of a new life.

That is not to say I'm not happy with my two little loves, just knowing i will never again give birth is so final.
hmmmm may Mr Williams can be persuaded not to have the snip?
I wonder if losing a child makes one always strive to make more babies, not that i can ever replace alfie, more that i can cancel all the negative associations of pg by having as many positive ones as i can?

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