Our Alfie moto, Don't. cry because its over, smile because it happened.

Our Alfie moto, Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.Dr Seuss

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

155-57 bit of a slump

I've been really struggling over the last few days and wasn't keen to share/blog my fragile emotional state.
I reckon my dad has been too, He made 2 escape attempts today one of which he almost managed to make it of the grounds (scary). He is making progress, but sadly Cameron is not the miracle cure. He is responding to therapy both physio and SALT but not to OT. It is such an unknown quantity and therefore unsettle and exhausting.

The next step on our horizon is dad coming home, he has no need other than therapy to stay at Cameron. It has been suggested that he might benefit more from doing therapy as an outpatient. He is so miserable being in the hospital the hope is he might respond better to therapy if he is happy. I am so emotional about the whole thing, I so desperately want him to be home, however that means that we are much more aware of his deficits. I hate the thought of pooping in to see my mum and dad and dad being unable to understand whats going on. I know he does understand some stuff, but I worry about him becoming disturbed and upset by being home. What if he has no concept of home, what if he isn't miserable because of hospital, he might just be miserable.........poor guy, it is crushing watching him struggling to formulate thoughts.

I don't want to be all negative and of course it will be awesome for dad to be in his own environment, how lovely will it be to see him sitting in the garden with the kiddos running around.

Shit if I'm feeling like this, goodness knows how mum and dad feel. I am aware of how institutionalised I feel with my routine of visiting him and how familiar it has become. In which case the sooner we get him out the better.

The kids will be loving it, xxxxx

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