coping with stillbirth, subsequent pregnancies and parenting after a loss.......my means of survival, my ode to Alfie, my wee man.
Our Alfie moto, Don't. cry because its over, smile because it happened.
Our Alfie moto, Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.Dr Seuss
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
tough one, it's a ben and jerry's night
Today was hard, Archie is going through some weird phase - he is tired a lot and it's making him cranky. He's quite hard work as it is, and Miss P isn't sleeping more than 3 hrs in a row (since she was born 7 months ago).
it's one of the times where I would turn to my sands mums for support - only they can understand that having lost a child one still becomes exhausted being a parent - of course I wouldn't change it for the world, however as a 'lost' parent am I not meant to appreciate every minute????? Bollox I'm only human, I have the right to feel as all parents feel, surely I'm not to be robbed of that too???
However, as all parents feel guilt is ours worse? who will ever know.
Tuesday club my solace, was hellish today because Archie was soooo tired, he is such a handful I couldn't blether to the girls and I worry that he'll never 'behave'.
Just have to enjoy the B&J's, relax and start again tomorrow.
He is the most adorable, loving wee man - just a tad hyper when in company LOL x
Labels:
archie,
grief,
guilt,
parenting after loss,
sadie,
stillbirth
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but look at that gorgeous little innocent face LOL
ReplyDeleteI think all boys go through a stage of this, Jamie went through it when Fraser was only 3 months and damn it was hard! I felt so guilty for always getting onto him and for feeling a little bit of resentment that he just wouldnt behave and 'made' me feel like that but then could be the most loving little boy ever. It does pass and with a lot of reassuring that he was still my special boy and lots of one on one time, things improved. Know that when Archie is being hyper or cranky, there is another mother at that group/in that shop/park etc who has been through the same thing with their child and will throw you an empathetic smile. hugs xxx
THANKyou so much for this Kelly, it is sooo hard, I know he is the most adorable sweet wee man - he is just a boy and loves it!
ReplyDeleteGentle but firm is my tactic right now - although today felt like hiding in the toilet and eating snickers bars LOL. Glad your brother is OK. XX